SHITZ @ GIGGLES - (Ready, Set, Go, Go, Go !) 

 YES !Shitz @ Giggles, the tag team champs from parts unknown are back ! just in time, so it would appear. the world, the USA, the Cubs, spring in November, my professional life, my personal life, my family life, my back is shot, finances . . .

AAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH !!!!!!!!!!

  Sometimes, it's just upside down. everything. chaos rains-chaos reigns ! Gotta throw up my hands @ say, hell with it. ok. this is how it is and LAUGH !!!! That so precious commodity, so rare indeed, that keeps me from jumping out of windows, from throwing a loved one out a window, from completely going mad. To name but a few of the benefits of clinging to a sense of humor. Other pluses - keeps me free @ out of jail(a biggy, there). Almost my last defense against a drink(sobriety rules, give it a shot. you may like it). The list is endless. I am certain you can add on infinitum if you choose. go ahead, give it a try. Or, is it too late for you? Have you given up? Are you wearing shorts, black socks, @ sandals? A fedora? If female, are you wearing earth tone clothing? Then yes, it is time to jump into a river. get it over with. be less painful. Or are ya yella ? 

LET'S PONDER, MULL, DISCUSS IF BUT FOR A MOMENT, CUZ I GOTTA PEE !  

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SPECIAL MESSAGE-MEN IN YOUR 50's- Public Service Announcement

Speaking of peeing. All you groovy guys clinging to your masculinity, testosterone, @ hairline, I am 54 years young(feel 90), @ the prostate is alive, well, @ kicking my teeth in. HELPFUL HINT - Peeing while sitting, instead of the old fashion standing method, allows for a much greater flow of "the urine" passing thru our bladders and the entire "urine" track. The old "standing method" of urination does not allow for effective urine release. Try the new @ improved "sitting method". You will not regret it. 

And remember where you heard this first. From me, yes me, good ole FW ! That's right groovy guys, FW, his bad self !

 Furthermore, not only does "the sitting method" of the urination process allow for a more effective flow of "the urine", it also(and this is huge, so listen closely @ carefully), eliminates the awful @ quite ugly splatter of "the urine"splashing over the rim, sloshing floors, walls, ceiling, @ other decorations. UGH ! NASTY ! What a mess this can be. Most certainly when visiting family @ friends during the upcoming holiday season. 

   Think of it, no more messy cleanups after "the urination process" is complete ! Think of the time saved. More time for the children ! Hours more free time ! No more buckets, mops, disinfectants. YES ! Clean, quick, easy. Truly the golden years. Not the golden shower ! After all, I am here to help ! 

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THE BRIGHTSIDE OF BLACKOUT DRINKING; 

You know me, looking for the silver lining, the bright side, the positives in any and all situations. Revisiting drinking to oblivion.

 It's not all bad, no. There is a plus side to drinking like an asshole. Drinking like a pig. Drinking, well, like me. Cuz, this is what i do. No matter the hell you currently find yourself in, there is always a reason. There are no coincidences. And always always always something to be grateful for. 

   When drinking to total blackout(technically speaking, for the layman, getting shit faced drunk @ having no clue as to what we did the nite before or the previous 8 days, for that matter), we forget our worst most embarrassing horrific deeds. Thus, allowing for a better nites sleep ! We eliminate 50% of our grief, guilt, shame, sorrow, regrets, and the need to apologize ! That right there, the benefits are apparent. The demons that come when somewhat conscience, as gigantic as they are, are relatively speaking, kept to a minimum. 

 When coming to on someone's basement floor, and we recognize we don't know where we are, we can shrug it off. Could happen to anyone, even Grandma for Christ's sake ! Which, after all, isn't this what we are after in the first place ? Whether drinking or in therapy ? A clear conscience ? 

WELCOME TO MY WORLD ! 

  Humor, people, the great medicine. For without laughter, I weep, grieve, and motherfuck beyond acceptable norms of civilized behavior. 

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Where was I before my bladder rudely interrupted ? who am i? why am i here? what am i doing? somebody, reader call 911! What's the # to 911 ? cuz i have no clue. i was in a blackout ! don't blame me. i got an alibi. not my fault ya see? i got a disease ! i got a syndrome ! a syndrome i did not ask for ! 

  Thusly, furthermore(give it to me baby!), albeit, such like @ all that crap, just as the rest of our society, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING I DO NOR SAY ! i.e. PREZ "O" - promising a government of transparency. How's that homeland security thing working out anyway ? Answer, buzzoff, before you sleep with the fishes !!

TRANSPARENCY - NO ! INVISIBLE - YES ! 

I'm feeling some of you pulling away.

                                                            YIPPEE KI YAY, 

                                                                                         FW